suitcases
My bags are packed. i enjoy traveling light, as this embodies a sense of freedom. This trip, i can’t seem to pull off that goal. i can relay this to external trials, though i am uncertain whether this is true.
A man who loves to talk-the-talk approaches me in the church, places his hand on my shoulder with a serpents smile disguised as a smile of a man with genuine interest in me. His hand grasps my shoulder and he slithers the words, “I just wanted to say hello to you,” as he glances about the room to ensure his Christian peers view his actions. His self-centered actions thrust a pit in my anxious stomach that did not dwell there previously. Would he be doing this were he not surrounded by his peers that he perceives watching his actions? i don’t believe so. i have seen no evidence of genuine behaviour from him in the past… only forced actions that he does not truly feel inside. He has blinders in place, and is unable to ascertain where his daughter arrived with such behaviours. With so much education, how can you be so incompetent?
i would prefer it if you would no longer help me pack my bags.
The woman cries, hugs me and professes how much she misses me and would love to stay in touch with me were it not for her daughter’s potential disdain if she were to do so. She misses my dog also, and would love to see her, as she has come along with me to the wedding. i extend the invite. Oh how the pup was ecstatic to see her, wagging her injured tail fervently, cone in place to prevent her from licking the open wound on the end of her tail, jumping up on the car in anticipation of a ride with one of her favorite people. “Oh K2, i miss you so much! i think of you often. James, if you ever need someone to watch her i would love to.”
“Well, i am leaving town for two weeks on the 31st.” i have dog-sitters in place, but if you would like to watch her i’m certain she would be very happy. It seems you would be also. i could drop her off on my way out of town.”
“Oh, that sounds great. i will discuss it with my husband and call you tomorrow.”
“i look forward to your call.”
No call. Why am i surprised? i had faith in you. Why?
Oh, what of the expenses i acrued that you were to reimburse me for. You did give your word. How can you state you don’t know what is going on with your daughter? Truth is intrinsic; honesty is learned. This is a repetitive cycle with you as it is with your daughter.
i would prefer you no longer help me pack my bags.
Please, stop reading and reciting. Live, please live. You both push others away from something that has potential to facilitate such positive change. Conversion is not possible until you convert yourself.
i loved you as my family. You were my family. i was honored. The differences i once saw so strikingly had faded into near non-existence. You were so loved by me. Forgiveness is desirable i know. It is not within my current means. Stay out of my life. Please, stay out, as i must lighten my load.
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