empty room

A world full of the most diverse beauty imaginable exists… challenges and rest, wars and peace, chaos and perfection, humanity and nature, structures and features, arid and lush lands, endless deserts and labyrinths of mountains, tranquility and pain… all resounding with luminousness and love. This world was known as Life. One of the portions that comprised this Life was a boy.

In a portion of this world the boy lay twisted, contorted, tortured, bloody and writhing in anguish in an uncomfortable room. The room smelled of rotting flesh, feces and urine;  tasted of thick ominous viscosity; uttered the most terrifying of tortured screams; touched with the most extreme oppositions of heat, cold, humidity and aridness fathomable and appeared as only the most complete, disconcerting darkness known. The room was the embodiment of suffering.

The boy had entered the room as the result of a complex story, perhaps his destiny. As terrible as it was, he spent much time considering and weighing his options about his path in Life engulfed in that darkness. The anxiety of incorrect decisions was often overwhelming, so he would remain, tormented in the dark room of his indecisive mind. When the boy could rebel against the anxiety he would venture into the lands of Life, at times with exuberance and passion, while at others barely able to forcefully place one foot in front of the other. When the anxiety and suffering or busy-ness of the mind became too much, he would return to the dark place, filled to the brim with the disconcert of failure, with the intent to heal and venture out again. How can one heal in such a place?

During the bursts of living outside of the room, many fell in love with the boy. The others and he had tremendous times in the world of Life. At times his friends would come to visit him in his world of darkness. They would love him in their own ways and bring him light. He felt unworthy. One girl entered his life during one of the darkest of times and began to share her life. She had a beautiful spirit and a life filled with perfection, though on the inside she shared the sensation of the darkness. She felt the darkness differently and contended with the stagnancy of her room in a way that others often could not sense it was even a part of her life. The boy could see, and fell in love with the complexity of this creation. He had never known such beauty. He had never known such light.

This beautiful girl became so intertwined with this boy that she was most always in the boy’s darkness as well as in the times of his liveliness. With the presence of such luminousness he ceased the quest for light in other areas of his life. Also, with the constant presence of the girl’s light his eyes and soul became accustomed to it, and he failed to see as he should. With the absence of the pursuit of Life and the diminished effect of the girl’s light the stagnancy and putridness of darkness clawed it’s way higher, began to trickle into his mouth and slide into the depths of his being. As he coughed and sputtered his light was threatened by the darkness. The boy began to fade, and die.

Feeling like a failure because of his lack of success, increasing darkness and imminent death the boy began to push away his best friend. He sometimes simply asked for space, though this was rare. Other times he retreated silently. Still others he contorted his face and lungs to match the confines of his room in an effort  to create distance. She was often left alone in a foreign land gasping for air at the crack of the door of her dark room as tears streamed down her cheeks. He did this with others that made brief appearances also, but none so much as her. As her distance increased he would become overwhelmed by the darkness and scent of death pouring into his soul; he would reach out to her again as her light was the only glimpse of Life he now received. This terrible cycle continued. “How could such light love such darkness,” he questioned. 

“How could someone that says he loves me treat me in such a dark way,” she questioned. As she ran away from the boy the poisonous darkness flooded into his soul. A barrage of tears cascaded down his cheeks as his heart beat for the last time. The boy had died crying.

~ by oneopenbook on January 26, 2009.