my fear
Someone asked me several days ago the same question that i had posed to them, “What is your greatest fear?” Her answer was simple and my answer was incomplete. Today the electrical pathways of countless memories, the action of multiple triggers, the convergence of thoughts, the chance of meetings, the interesting timing of conversations, the wafting of scents, the peculiarity of dreams…. well, they converged, and i realized my biggest fear.
A young creation bounds through the world, blessed with the genetic gifts and 
challenges that countless generations before bestowed upon her. She is free, the embodiment of beauty that humanity has the potential to exude.When the weather is hot she feels the sun kiss her skin and sweats without fear of judgment; when it turns cold she shivers freely and seeks warmth. If her parents afford a compliment she shines and when scolded tears well in her eye and stream down her cheeks. Her hearing is nonselective and open to every sound, whether the elegant wind or a thunderous train. The complex flower is as beautiful to her pristine eyes as the field of all the weeds and flowers mixed together. The curiosity that wells in her is represented by a pure look of awe and the fear is truly represented by her face. Her mouth and tongue share what her thoughts are. She experiences all around her, and behaves as is natural. She is so simple, and so lovely in that simplicity. She is.
Over time this simplicity is carved and manipulated by the world around him. He begins to build a levy for his tears, limit his smiles, cloak his curiosity, place lenses over his eyes, insert foam into his ears and a gag in his mouth. He limits his shivering when he is cold and eliminates the sweat with antiperspirant. He has become the sum of the fears that have been passed onto him through his genetic tree and environmental conditions, and humanities fallacies. He has been lied to. He has been cheated. He has become a lost actor in a world of actors, placing his true nature in a closet, locked with a key, visited periodically when the world of acting falls to pieces. He is so complex, and so distant in that complexity. He is.
Oh, this world is so rich and so beautiful. We have not locked our skeletons away in closets, as they are not skeletons. They are the essence of all that exists. It’s all here to feel, see, smell, speak, sweat, breathe, cry, moan, dance, slump, run, wonder, fear, love….. share all these things, the bright and the dark. You are perfect in your chaos.
Disconnecting from myself and those disconnecting around me is my biggest fear.
I will lay it to rest.
